Wise Broker: The nesting urge is strong with this one.
New Sales Associate: How can you tell, oh Broker With Many Designations?
Wise Broker: The signs are many and certain. So we now may name her according to our tradition.
New Sales Associate: By what name would you call her, oh Great GRI Possessor?
Wise Broker: She Who Must Close Escrow By Next Tuesday Or Else. She Who Cannot Choose Between Pastel Yellow and Pastel Green For The Second Bedroom. She Who Travels Many Miles Per Week To Bed, Bath and Beyond For Safety 1st Products.
New Sales Associate: I see, oh Magnificent Managerial One. Tell me, what are the certain signs that you see!
Wise Broker: Two moons have passed since the time of the co-ed shower. No empty signups remain on her Meal Train. Plentiful hooks and shelves are to be erected in the storage room. Full inspections have been made for mold, lead and asbestos, even though the property is only one year old.
New Sales Associate: Are there other signifiers, oh Watcher Of The Company’s Bottom Line?
Wise Broker: Behold how the doula’s phone number is on speed dial. See how the worry lines in her mate’s brow have etched deep like the streams swollen with spring runoff.
New Sales Associate: Can you say, Counselor of Real Estate, which of these men is her mate?
Wise Broker: He who cannot be missed. He is the one who stands three steps behind She Who Pees Every Hour as they do the official walk through.
New Sales Associate: And what is this deferential one called, Former Tennis Pro Turned Realtor?
Wise Broker: Of his many names, these three are best. He Who Speaks Encouragingly As Their Coach Has Instructed. He Who Has No Clue What’s In Store Next. He Who Worries About Paying The Mortgage Now That There Will Only Be One Income.
New Sales Associate: I bow to you, Wise Broker. Your vast knowledge is truly astonishing. How did you come to possess this great wisdom?
Wise Broker: Are you kidding, Rookie Realtor? That part was easy. She is — as you will see when she turns sideways – nearly nine months pregnant.
Cynthia Cummins is a Top Producer and Partner at McGuire’s Flagship Office in the Marina District. For more information on San Francisco real estate visit CynthiaCummins.com.