Let’s call them Jane and Jean. They’ve been looking for an Ingleside home for three months and one has appeared that meets all their criteria.
There’s just one teensy-weensy problem: The 24-hour liquor store located down the block. In separate conversations with each of them about whether or not the store impacts their feelings about the house, I hear them say the same thing:
“As long as she’s happy with it, I’m good.”
It’s a noble sentiment, but not a wise approach to buying a home. (Nor a sustainable one for long-term health of a relationship.) Without delving deeply into the psychological dynamics of coupledom, let’s just say that Jane and Jean need to tell each other what they do and don’t like about the house.
It would be wise for each of them to say aloud or write down the pros and cons, then compare lists actively. That way Jean and Jane can feel empowered about their decision.
They can be happy together about the purchase. Or they can eliminate the house together. But they’ll have made a conscious decision together, without either partner adapting the sort of passive role that can spell trouble later.
As when five months hence Jane says to Jean, “You should have guessed I’d be miserable about that darn liquor store…”